Welcome to the January 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting:
Recovering from the Holidays

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about how their families get back to normal after the holidays are over.

 This post went live last week in error, so I apologize to my regular readers for seeing it again, but I do encourage you to scroll to the bottom of this post and check out the rest of the posts from our NPN participants!

Hmmm… how do we recover from the holidays around this kitchen?  Well, in past years it took at least a week. Eating rich foods, staying up absurdly late far too many nights in a row, plus the stress of crazed travel? We were always sick and grumpy the next week. This year, though, I didn’t want to repeat the drama, so I made changes.

I didn’t send out hordes of Christmas cards and photos. I sent out 52. The rest, I just handed to people. We didn’t have massive baking days, I did what I could as I could. I started shopping in July and while I was still wrapping on December 20th, it was peaceful. All that to say, as we prepped to leave the house each day for our events, I kept mulling to myself how all the time I had spent getting myself organized was paying off.  Christmas morning as we slipped out pajama’d children into the car, I actually thought “easy peasy, lemon squeeze-y” as I drank my homemade mocha and settled in for the long drive.

This year there really isn’t a recovery. And for that, I am grateful. My 3 year old has returned to his sweet self now that the anticipation is over. Their gifts were very carefully thought out and I am so grateful for the generosity afforded by not only our current financial status, but in the hearts of our family. The blizzard that forced us to be home bound in the days following Christmas was quite possibly one of the greatest blessings. Instead of feeling compelled to rush out to the store and find storage bins so I could kick the home into top organization, I simply unpacked and wrote thank yous.

Instead of rushing to prepare meals, I was grateful for my panicked Christmas Eve Walmart run for fruit and lettuce. To recover from our holiday meals, we ate fruit and chicken and whole grains. We put together puzzles for days and I watched the kids create train track masterpieces and paint elaborate stories. We watched movies and played games. I folded diapers and washed the sticky kitchen floor under Sylvi’s chair.

This year, I didn’t really need much of a recovery because it was honestly the best Christmas I’ve had in the past 8 years since Matt and I started dating. This year, I wasn’t up all night with sick or nursing babies. I wasn’t dealing with horrible morning sickness. We hadn’t lost family to cancer or babies or miscarriage. Although we were busy and spent a lot of time in the car, we were peaceful. I don’t think life has changed so much as my heart has. Perhaps, just perhaps, my recovery started after last Christmas when I decided it was time to take care of myself. In the last year we’ve become a healthier family: physically, emotionally and mentally. We’ve grown and learned and loved one another more deeply.

Life may not always be so peaceful and easy, but I’m going to enjoy every second while it remains. I learned many lessons in 2012, but perhaps the most important thing I learned was that in order to truly recover, you must be willing to change. In my case, that change was long awaited and much appreciated!

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting this March!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 14 with all the carnival links.)

• Pinterest Inspiration for Easier Winter Holidays Shannon, writing at Natural Parents Network, shares inspiration for having more relaxed winter holidays from their Handmade Holidays Pinterest board.
• Seven Recipes for Beans – Post Holiday Cleaning — Destany at They Are All of Me shares her favorite bean recipes that she hopes will help her body recover from overindulging her sweet tooth during the holidays.
• The Recovery in the Change — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen made changes in her life and attitude throughout 2012 and was pleasantly surprised at how those changes impacted her holiday recovery!
• Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance…
• Holiday Recovery — Meegs at A New Day talks about how the holidays can be overwhelming for a toddler, and how she’s helping her 3 year old recover.
• 5 Ways to Detox After the Holidays — Brittany at The Pistachio Project gives a few ways to help you detox and get back on track after the holiday season has passed.
• 3 Simple Ways to Establishing Rhythm After the Holidays or Any Time — Sheila at A Living Family shares 3 simple ways to reestablish a rhythm of connection and calm in your family after holidays, visitors, travel or any time.
• Gemstones For Holiday Hangoverss — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delves into the power of gemstones as an often overlooked means of dealing with the holiday letdown.
• Getting back to Healthy — Bess at A Warrior Mom talks about the struggle of getting young ones back to eating healthy after several days to weeks of getting more candy and sweets than normal for the holidays and gives some suggestions on how to get them back to eating healthy in the new year.
• Post Christmas Juice Feast — Sam at Love Parenting explains why she has created a new tradition of juice feasting, and how she includes her toddler when detoxing.
• The Java Monkey On My Back — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs realizes it is time to kick her cup of Joe habit as a first step toward detoxing.
• Minimalist Holidays — Jorje of Momma Jorje doesn’t find much need for recovery after her minimalist version of the holidays.
• Do something for you — Lauren at Hobo Mama urges you to find a silly and indulgent reward of me-time — and she has hers.
• do we recover? — Kenna at Million Tiny Things wonders what recovery really means in the context of the tragedies of this past holiday season.
• 37 Easy Ways to Save Money — Shannon at GrowingSlower is sharing these money-saving tips to help get your budget back on track after the holidays.
• A Two Year Old’s Resolutions — That Mama Gretchen is putting the holidays behind her with a spin on traditional resolutions — New Year’s goals for her two-year-old! Sound crazy? Read on for an explanation!
• How to Find Balance after the Holidays — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her favorite ways to start a new year with hope and calmness.
• Fresh Awakening — For Luschka at Diary of a First Child, the new year has coincided with a return to restful nights. With sleep, she’s found new directions in life, but while she can’t make too many changes to her life right now, she’s inspired and excited about the future.
• Learning to slow down after a busy Festive Season — Stoneageparent describes the joys and lows of this year’s festive season, as well as her New Year’s resolutions.
• Detoxing’ Your Toddler After the Holidays — Does your family suffer side effects from the holidays? Join Christine from African Babies Don’t Cry to learn how she detoxed herself and her toddler off the treats and festivities of the season.
• Scheduling is OK! — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep explores the possibilities of the — SCHEDULE!!
• Holiday-Free but not Stress-Free — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot takes it easy after moving with her husband and new babies to Scotland.
• A Vacation from the World — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children retreats with her family at the end of every year in order to recuperate and enjoy one another.
• On the Road to Recovery — Dionna at Code Name: Mama isn’t just recovering from the holidays, she’s recovering from a lifestyle.
• We Never Left the Grind — Erika Gebhardt compares a typical day pre-holidays and post-holidays.
• Remembering and Recovering from the Holidays (One day at a time) — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM is recovering from holidays slowly–taking one day at a time–while trying to remember all the sweet moments that passed too quickly.
• 5 a Day — To get back on track Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy needed a simple system to help her family learn new values.
• Holiday Detox & Healing: Bieler Broth — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her secret for a gentle, whole-foods-based post-holiday detox: Bieler Broth!
• I’m Mama Not Supermom — After a year filled with changes Angela at EarthMamas World has to remind herself that she does not have to be supermom while recovering from the holiday chaos.

Welcome to the October 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Instilling a Healthy Self-Image

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared confessions, wisdom, and goals for helping children love who they are. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

I will never forget the day I realized the voice in my head telling me awful things about my post-baby body wasn’t my own. I remember standing in the mirror tearing down my stretch marks, saggy skin, and lack of shape and realized the words circulating in my brain weren’t my own, but words I had heard my mother speak over her own body year ago. I stood there looking at my body and wondered if I was even really seeing it the way it was, for in my mind’s eye, I was looking at my mother’s scars and skin. The dawning of this realization prompted a phone call to all my friends who had daugthers to ask them to not say anything negative about their bodies in front of their children.

We live in a world where body image is warped by what we see in the media.  When I was growing up, people compared me to Blossom. I hated this. We had the same akward nose and gangly limbs. In time, I grew into my nose and my limbs gained some substance. I notice the same can be said for Blossom’s lead actress, Mayim Bialik, as well. Not to mention she’s still a sucessful actress and incredibly intelligent scholar.

In time, my thoughts on self-esteem have changed. But just because I’ve finally realized I matter, it doesn’t mean I don’t have little lives to build. Dr. Sears has a great list of ways to help your child develop healthy self-esteem. Actually, Dr. Sears specifically mentions that if we want our children to have healthy self-esteem, we need to work on our own. And realize that our parents may have made choices in how they raised us that we shouldn’t repeat. He doesn’t say this so that we can develop bitterness for our parents’ mistakes, but so we can make better choices for our families.

We know a family that is a constant reminder to me that it is my responsibility to change how I  interact with my children. In all the years I’ve known them, I’ve not once heard the parents say anything kind about their children. They are all high-achieving children, with many talents, but their mother is hung up on clothing sizes and too-young engagements. It makes me sad to watch their interactions and yet reminds me how easy it is to start out with good intentions and watch them slowly fade away.

In my eyes, my children are the most beautiful humans on the face of this Earth. They know I think they’re amazing, but they need to think it too. We snuggle and we cuddle and I remind them many, many times a day how much I love them. And I tell them they are smart and handsome and talented and beautiful. As you well know, you are responsible to set the tone in your child’s mind for their life.

Self-esteem is something can either be fragile as a tea cup or diamond strong. The best way to build it is to build a strong relationship with your children. Be honest with them about how you love them. Praise them for their good moments, but be honest enough to correct their errors so they can grow. Spend time with them. Teach your children. Read to your children. Play with your children. Laugh with your children. Cry with your children. If you are real with your children, you can teach them to be real with themselves. And then, when your children can be honest with themselves about how they feel and what they experience, they can put together their self-esteem without fear and with the knowledge that they have your support.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon October 9 with all the carnival links.)

• Why I Walk Around Naked — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she embraces her own body so that her daughter might embrace hers.
• What I Am Is Not Who I Am — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses her views on the importance of modeling WHO she is for her daughter and not WHAT she sees in the mirror.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Verbs vs. Adjectives — Alisha at Cinnamon & Sassafras tries hard to compliment what her son does, not who he is.
• The Naked Family — Sam at Love Parenting talks about how nudity and bodily functions are approached in her home.
• How She’ll See Herself — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis discusses some of the challenges of raising a daughter in our culture and how she’s hoping to overcome them.
• Self Esteem and all it’s pretty analogies — Musings from Laura at Pug in the Kitchen on what she learned about self-esteem in her own life and how it applies to her parenting.
• Beautiful — Tree at Mom Grooves writes about giving her daughter the wisdom to appreciate her body and how trying to be a role model taught Tree how to appreciate her own.
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do: Nurturing A Healthy Body Image — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs is changing perceptions about her body so that she may model living life with a positive, healthy body image for her three young daughters.
• Some{BODY} to Love — Kate Wicker has faced her own inner demons when it comes to a poor body image and even a clinical eating disorder, and now she wants to help her daughters to be strong in a world that constantly puts girls at risk for losing their true selves. This is Kate’s love letter to her daughters reminding them to not only accept their bodies but to accept themselves as well in every changing season of life.
• They Make Creams For That, You Know — Destany at They Are All of Me writes about celebrating her natural beauty traits, especially the ones she passed onto her children.
• New Shoes for Mama — Kellie of Our Mindful Life, guest posting at Natural Parents Network, is getting some new shoes, even though she is all grown up…
• Raising boys with bodily integrity — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants her boys to understand their own bodily autonomy — so they’ll respect their own and others’.
• Sowing seeds of self-love in our children — After struggling to love herself despite growing up in a loving family, Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting has suggestions for parents who truly want to nurture their children’s self-esteem.
• Subtle Ways to Build a Healthy Self-Image — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM discusses the little things she and her husband do every day to help their daughter cultivate a healthy self-image.
• On Barbie and Baby Bikinis: The Sexualization of Young Girls — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger finds it difficult to keep out the influx of messages aimed at her young daughters that being sexy is important.
• Undistorted — Focusing on the beauty and goodness that her children hold, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children watches them grow, loved and undistorted.
• Off The Hook — Arpita at Up, Down and Natural sheds light on the journey of infertility, and how the inability to get pregnant and stay pregnant takes a toll on self image…only if you let it. And that sometimes, it feels fantastic to just let yourself off the hook.
• Going Beyond Being An Example — Becky at Old New Legacy discusses three suggestions on instilling healthy body image: positivity, family dinners, and productivity.
• Raising a Confident Kid — aNonymous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways she’s trying to raise a confident daughter and to instil a healthy attitude to appearance and self-image.
• Instilling a Healthy Self Image — Laura at This Mama’s Madness hopes to promote a healthy self-image in her kids by treating herself and others with respect, honesty, and grace.
• Stories of our Uniqueness — Casey at Sesame Seed Designs looks for a connection to the past and celebrates the stories our bodies can tell about the present.
• Helping My Boy Build a Healthy Body Image — Lyndsay at ourfeminist{play}school offers readers a collection of tips and activities that she uses in her journey to helping her 3-year-old son shape a healthy body image.
• Eat with Joy and Thankfulness: A Letter to my Daughters about Food — Megan at The Boho Mama writes a letter to her daughters about body image and healthy attitudes towards food.
• Helping Our Children Have Healthy Body Images — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares information about body image, and her now-adult daughter tells how she kept a healthy body image through years of ballet and competitive figure skating.
• Namaste — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how at barely 6 years old, her daughter has begun to say, “I’m not beautiful.” And while it’s hard to listen to, she also sees it as a sign her daughter is building her self-image in a grassroots kind of way.
• 3 Activities to Help Instill a Healthy Self-Image in Your Child — Explore the changing ideals of beauty, create positive affirmations, and design a self-image awareness collage. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares these 3 ideas + a pretty affirmation graphic you can print and slip in your child’s lunchbox.
• Beautiful, Inside and Out — It took a case of adult-onset acne for Kat of MomeeeZen to find out her parenting efforts have resulted in a daughter that is truly beautiful, inside and out.
• Mirroring Positive Self Image for Toddlers — Shannon at GrowingSlower reflects on encouraging positive self image in even the youngest members of the family.
• How I hope to instill a healthy body image in my two girls — Raising daughters with healthy body image in today’s society is no small task, but Xela at The Happy Hippie Homemaker shares how choosing our words carefully and being an example can help our children learn to love their bodies.
• Self Image has to Come from Within — Momma Jorje shares all of the little things she does to encourage healthy attitudes in her children, but realizes she can’t give them their self images.
• Protecting the Gift — JW from True Confessions of a Real Mommy wants you to stop thinking you need to boost your child up: they think they are wonderful all on their own.
• Learning to Love Myself, for my Daughter — Michelle at Ramblings of Mitzy addresses her own poor self-image.
• Nurturing An Innate Sense of Self — Marisa at Deliberate Parenting shares her efforts to preserve the confidence and healthy sense of self they were born with.
• Don’t You Love Me, Mommy?: Instilling Self-Esteem in Young Children After New Siblings Arrive — Jade at Seeing Through Jade Glass But Dimly hopes that her daughter will learn to value herself as an individual rather than just Momma’s baby
• Exercising is FUN — Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work talks about modeling for her children that exercising is FUN and good for body and soul.
• Poor Little Chicken — Kenna at A Million Tiny Things gets her feathers ruffled over her daughter’s clothing anxiety.
• Loving the skin she’s in — Mama Pie at Downside Up and Outside In struggles with her little berry’s choice not to celebrate herself and her heritage.