I’m anxious for the kids to go to bed tonight.  I can’t wait to close that last door, zip to my room and put on my running clothes.  I’ve been thinking about running all day.

I know, there’s something wrong with me these days.  But I maintain that it’s a good thing to have wrong.  I motivated myself through several solo workouts this week, and really looked forward to yesterday’s classes.  I have been extremely fortunate to have the support of my husband and aunt in the last few weeks as I’ve been pushing myself harder and harder.  My aunt had the kids in the morning and I was really grateful because I was a nervous wreck over our class route.  The last time I did a class at that location was about 9 months ago.  It was horrible.  As I stretched, I had to say a few prayers that I wouldn’t let my mind beat me before I even started.  Yes, there were moments of huffing and puffing, but the class was amazing.

Coming off that fitness victory, I went to my running class at night with the knowledge that on Tuesday morning, I had been able to keep up with a running partner and run 1/2 mile stretches.  Wednesday though, I could barely drag myself off the couch.  I was sick, had an unexplained fever and shook most of the day.  I was proud that I survived the morning class with enough of a challenge that I felt like I was still strong.  I really wanted to run, so I figured that I’d get through half mile sets and call it a day.

Here is where I talk about the power of support.  The Get Fit Go Green Challenge begins on Monday.  I’m getting to read amazing intro posts from the other participants like Amanda and Tiffany (they’re from Ohio too!!!) and Gretchen and Katy.  I am so jazzed and inspired.  I’m loving seeing my new bloggy friends’ posts to their facebook pages of their workouts.  I’m proud of these women who I barely know because every one of them is doing this for strength and health.  I am too.  But even though I really want to succeed, in the back of my mind a nagging fear has been telling me that I’ll have to walk through these races and I’ll have the worst time on record for the tri.

Last night, Brooke has us run 1/2 a mile to warm up.  It hurt.  I was tired.  Really tired.  I stopped once, and the negativity flooded in.  One other girl had joined us for class and she is used to running longer distances than I, so she was ahead.  Her workout was different from mine, so Brooke ran with her and assigned me a mile.  NO STOPPING.  It did not happen.  I ran slower and slower and stopped a couple of times.  I walked a 5th lap in an effort to get a grip on my head game and Brooke and I talked about getting my legs stretched out well.  I struggle with pain in my left calf because my left side is no where near as flexible as my right.  I would be the one who “fight” the stretch even though I know I shouldn’t.

After my pity party, Brooke asked me run another mile for a timed trial.  I wanted to cry.  I mean… seriously.  I told her I would run 1/2 a mile and see how it went.  I can always tell when someone is praying for me, because I have strength I didn’t have before.  I slowed myself way down and finished 1/2 a mile and then 3/4 a mile and as long as I listened to my music and kept my head down, focused on my feet, I was ok.  Before I knew it, I was across the mile line and I did it.  I have not run any distance since the winter of 2005.  I didn’t know I could do it, and I was flushed with amazement for the rest of the night.  I may have even made a few triumphant phone calls shocked that I’d actually done it.

I get to officially start the GGGF challenge on Monday with the knowledge that I’m 1/3 of the way to my goal and feeling pretty darn strong.  I didn’t know I could run that far and now I’m excited to keep finding out what my body can do!